Taking some time away from running has been the best thing I could have done for myself. Kind of a restart into what I want to accomplish this year.
May and June were rough for me because I was trying to move ahead in my career and other parts of my life. Every day I needed to remind myself that it was OK to put other things ahead of running. So, I did. I took some time off and concentrated on other things.
I didn’t want to give up running. I wanted to DO IT ALL. I wanted to be superwoman in all parts of my life. I started to feel guilty for needing to take time away from running. There were days where I wouldn’t give up anything and I would be up all night trying to work/study/strength train, all at the same time. I was feeling very much pulled from different ends.
I had to message my wonderful coach and inform her I needed to take a break. The best thing for me was I knew I was putting pressure on myself for no reason. She was going to support me no matter what, I knew that, but when I messaged her, I truly felt like I was shrugging my duties as a coaching client. Her response was caring and understanding, to the point that I knew I was doing the right thing. I got the strength I needed to get through this weird period of my training cycle.
After completing a few of the very large things on my list, I decided to start running again, but it didn’t stick. It felt like I was doing something foreign. My body was just moving to move, not to gain anything from it. So, I had to stop again.
How ridiculous it was to have the time but not feel like doing anything with it. I have a marathon coming up and I couldn’t even run 10K without stopping.
I kept trying till the end of June, and it felt mechanical. What do I do? I tried running and doing all my activities without my Garmin. No need to be stressed out while I am trying to get back into the groove. But it didn’t help. I asked myself: Do I not run the full marathon in August? Do I give up running?
So many questions going through my mind because I wasn’t feeling myself.
I took the long weekend (Happy birthday Canada! You are the best nation in the world.) and I decided to go for a run. My coach had me in for an easy 6K. At this time, anything over 10 minutes of running wasn’t easy. Yet somehow, I did it. I started doing things that I said in my last post that I would do. I did bootcamp at Orange Theory. I got up early or came home early to make sure I got in my run. I didn’t skip this week’s long run. But oh, how I wanted to.
In the past week, I started to feel like myself — my slower self — but myself. I started to fall in love with running all over again. We fought, I cried, and we triumphed.
A week later, and only a month and a bit till my marathon, I am feeling anxious yet at peace. Although I know I won’t be in the best shape going into my first marathon for the year, I will get there and I feel like I can do it in October!